When people say you are either good or bad, it's kinda funny to me because, fortunately or unfortunately, there are too many shades of gray in between black and white. Is it okay to assume that everyone defines his own good or bad? there are times when my actions do not seem to fit into the description of good or bad. there are times when i feel like i am doing something bad and i'm really not doing anything at all. There are times when you want to compare an obviously bad person (say, a murderer or prostitute) and an apparently good person; or, when you feel like you are better than some other person, but then you compare situations and other differences between you and them and you see that you are not better, just different...nothing more. Many times, i imagined how every person would be judged by God. I imagine how true it is that every person would be judged separately. I imagine that it'll be really obvious when we are guilty, and i imagine that some people may get away with stuff that we may be punished for...not because God is unfair (God forbid that) but because we thought we were doing our fair share already and it did not make any difference if we do more good than we'd already done. Maybe because we thought we were good enough already....Maybe God judges based on if u are as good as "you" are supposed to be...not just better than the average person.

Today went well for me and i just can't help but think about stuff that happened earlier today. I went to a skating rink for the first time in my life and, for some odd reason, i decided that i'd try to rollerskate. It was easy to get the skates n wear them but then i remembered the sign at the door, "Skate at your own risk", and it wasn't just one sign i'd seen. i thought of all the bad things that could possibly happen if i made an attempt to stand in those rollerskates and i'm sure it was a lot harder in my mind than in real life. i thought of all the people that'd laugh at me (like they have time), more importantly, i remembered that i would need health insurance (n that's quite expensive), just in case i'd break a couple of my precious bones. The mind is a powerful thing. i spent all my time at the rink thinking what a bad idea it'ld be to skate so i really didn't get to do it. I guess there were some other people who learned to skate for the first time today at the place and while they actually tried, i may be left wondering how different things would be if i had tried. This happens everytime when we let our own minds see defeat before we encounter a new experience. I'd love to do things before concluding that i'll fail. Most times, it's all in our minds.